Bismillah

Assalamualaikum, how’s it going guys? Hopefully everyone’s doing ok wherever you are. Its 12:16 am now and I’m alone in my room, everyone else is watching Santau or something. I chose not to watch it hehe, not my cup of tea basically I prefer not to have myself scared or screaming like a little girl late at night, but hey if thats your kind of thing then by all means…..

I was reading my lil sister’s blog just now and i was quite amazed with the vocab she was using i mean she seriously has talent in writing albeit maybe not serious jurnalism like kinda writing but she’s good nonetheless. Never fails to make me laugh that one, hope she’s doing well with everything hehehe. She hopes to be a doctor so I’m hoping she does good enough to continue her dream. If not then well, one door closes and others will be open so no worries kay lil sis 😉

Thinking bout her plight really makes me think about where I am right now. I was recently browsing aimlessly in facebook as im sure many of you are used to doing, and I took some time to catch up on what my schoolmates are currently doing. If you must know, I bumped into my primary schoolmate last week at the careers fair. We chat a bit as I was all too busy looking for an internship opportunity. So thats when i had the urge to checkout on my old mates. To my amazement lots of them are doing great, some are already working with big names like Pwc & Citibank, others are studying medicine, accounting, economics and what not, you name it. Looking at them and comparing them with yours truely, I can’t help but to get a mix of emotions. At one point Im happy that they’re doing so well in life and at the same time I can’t help but to feel sad for myself. Its not that im not grateful for what I have, its just that I don’t feel like I’m living enough. Sounds depressing isn’t it, yeah I guess its one of those days when you feel like nothings going your way. I call em my “emo days” kahkah

I want my existense in this world to mean something you know. I want to be able to contribute positively to the people around me, not just a normal person working at the office from 9 to 5 everyday clocking in and out of work. I seriously can’t picture myself working at the office, hopefully i’ll get an intership so I can test run so to speak huhu. Im not meaning to say that office work nor that actuaries don’t contribute to society don’t get me wrong its just that I can’t get my head around the big picture yet. Haih you know don’t mind me I’m just rambling stuff thats probably not meaning anything haha

I guess I’m bummed out at rhe fact that I’m not doing what I thought I would do; pilot. Yeah my eyes wouldn’t allow me. So i choose myself into this area which altough has its lows also has taught lots of valueble things. So yeah, a but down but hey its just one of those days i guess and i needed an output, so Im sorry you had to read this :P. Gotta take my mind off things and focus on finishing what I started. Lets go with a positive attitude in life and pray that Allah gives us the best i. This life and the hereafter hehe. Till next time, peace out haha 😉

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